Congratulations. You’ve found the secrets of the universe.
In this uncertain time, one has so little to rely on. However, there are universal truths that provide comfort and happiness. Wisdom I hold dear to my heart and that has been passed down from generations of Pazsitzkys. Here are some gems I’ve compiled from family, friends,Philosophers and Rappers. 
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates 
“All y’all smart dumb cats out there. Y’all Dadumdadum niggas man. Knowledge yourself. ” Ghostface Killah on Twitter
“Dirt McGirt comes from Dirt McGirt Island. It’s a place that’s right off the block from the next island off of Batman Island. I can’t let you know exactly where it is––it’s a secret, you know? Wonder Woman told me not to say nothing.” – Ol’ Dirty Bastard, AKA Dirt McGirt, O.D.B., Osirus, Big Baby Jesus, Dirt Dog, Ason Jones and Ason Unique.
“The world is a dangerous place, full of assholes who want to take what you have.” – Mom
“I don’t know what gay women do with each other. Maybe lick each other to death?” – Mom
“America is a great country. I have always wanted to come to America since I was a child. The same way a gay man knows he wants to be a woman.” – Dad
“Everybody is on drugs. Believe me, it’s true.” – Dad
“A good man will go down on you. A great man will eat your ass.” – Nana
“Every time you burp, you are cheating your asshole.” – Nana
For more secrets, go here http://christinacomedy.tumblr.com/