From Erik Lundy’s Blog

www.eriklundy.com

Over the years, my friends and I have compiled a list of words that aren’t real words and phrases that aren’t real phrases. This list was made possible by countless checkout clerks, students, performers and misinformed friends. Enjoy this list compiled by Tom Segura, Ryan Sickler, Shauna Finn and myself.

1. Irregardless – as in “Irregardless of what the commercial claims, “Guys Gone Wild” is probably purchased mostly by gay men.”

2. “I says” – as in “So I says to her, I says Tina, I ain’t feeding that dang cat no more.”
3. Libary – as in “Why you goin to the libary?”

4. Ecscape – as in “She ecscaped her destiny as a stripper by becoming a porn star.”

4. Volumptuous – as in “J-Lo got a volumptous ass.”
5. Supposably – as in “Well, I mean supposably he’s coming to the bar after work.”
6. Phertographer – as in “I got a great phertogropher for you.”
7. Chicargo – self explanatory.
8. Drownding – I was really disappointed to hear this in a Modest Mouse song. The lyric was “Everyone’s an ocean drownding.”

9. Idear – as in “I had the idear to go back to school, but thought, “eh, screw it.”
10. “It’s a blessing in the skies.” – This one is my favorite by far and came from my husband Tom’s ex-coworker who pointed to the sky as he made his proclamation.

Such a fun show today. Ross Mathews and Guy Braunum were on the Round Table with me  and it was a blast.  Chelsea and I were the girl filling in a hearty gay-man sandwich, a “Gandwich” if you will. Thought I’d share some pictures from the day.

Here’s my Prom picture with Guy:

Of course, if this were my real Prom picture, I’d be dressed as Siouxsie Sioux and I’d still be with a gay man, although he’d be dressed like Robert Smith.

Here’s the 3 of us:

Adorbs.

And here’s me with Stephanie. She’s one of those people you see running up to us before and after commercial break. Its Stephanie’s job to make sure I say things like “Tagteam” instead of “Gangbang”.

And the finale… me with the Chu-Man.  He looks great in red.

Fun show today. Round Table was with Jo Koy and Greg Proops and there were animals! Many years ago, Proops and I did a show together on PBS called “Mental Engineering”. I remember being very impressed with Proops  because he smoked “Kools”.

For once, I’m not the one making a silly face. Poopsie looks a little puckery here. MWA!

Here’s the cool ass mini-Toucan that pooped on Chelsea.

Here’s the little guy up close right before he took yet another shit.

I guess every time you put a blueberry in that bird’s mouth, it has to come out of it’s little poopshoot. He’s like a well-oiled machine – food goes in, poop comes out.  All you have to do is make eye contact with him, then throw the berry in the air. He just snaps it up like a little crocodile.  I think I’m in love with this Tiny Toucan.

I’m so glad Tammy won Comedy Central’s Stand-Up Showdown.  She’s hilarious and a solid citizen as well. She’s a new mother, which for a woman in the comedy world is extremely rare and difficult. The clip below is of a pregnant Tammy at Crackers in Indy tearing shit up.  Enjoy.

http://ccinsider.comedycentral.com/2010/02/01/tammy-pescatelli-wins-stand-up-showdown/

http://ccinsider.comedycentral.com/2010/01/12/the-comedy-central-insider-boilerplate-interview-tammy-pescatelli/

For a minute I was unable to post videos on my blog. To celebrate the return of video embedding, I give you this. From my roots.

2009 was an eventful year. I traveled to foreign and exotic lands, was a newlywed, appeared on TV, worked with talented comics, saw the Pixies live, witnessed a gang shooting,  learned to make a chocolate souflee, checked the oil in my car, spent time with friends and family and by the grace of God and MTV enjoyed the marvel that is “Jersey Shore”. But the oddest, most memorable and conflicting adventure of 2009 was enjoying  a 4 course gourmet meal at the Sharon Tate murder house. That’s right. The very house where a pregnant Sharon Tate and  friends were brutally murdered by the Manson clan.

Hello Crazy Pants

The lunch occurred last June and I’ve been thinking about it and feeling dirty on the inside ever since.  There are a few snapshots of my life I repeat in my head over and over.  Like this one time I went to kiss my stepdad on the cheek and it caught him off guard and he turned his head and we accidentally mouth kissed.  I think about that one. But this, this is different. I feel dirty.  Dirtay. I mean filthy –  like I’d just sold 1,000 gypsy babies to a pedophile or like I had just hooked up with “The Situation” and liked it.

It was weird and I’m still conflicted. I  hesitated blogging about it because the house is owned by a  Hollywood Producer type who ironically created one of the most wholesome, successful and blissfully banal stitcoms of all time. His name will not be mentioned here, but a simple Wikipedia search will reveal the Dark Rider’s identity.  The purpose of the lunch was to discuss some business with the Dark Rider and he was kind enough to invite us up for a fancy lunch.  The original house was torn down and the Dark Rider built a magnificent – I mean punch you in the babymaker and make you want to puke on yourself –  house. The kind of house that makes you proud to be American.

I’m talking waterfalls in the backyard, multiple pools,  rooms with frivolous themes like “The Elvis Room” and “This Room’s Only to Pet Kittens In”.  Things that a lowly Hungarian immigrant  like me just can’t understand. In my house growing up,  if you had something nice you laminated it. Every couch, every piece of kitchen furniture was covered in plastic because  you don’t ruin nice stuff. My husband had to stop me from putting seat covers on my Jetta’s car seats, although I really should have because now they’re covered in filth.

Our couch looked similar to this – minus Ghostface Killah and the pregnant girl:

Oh and did I mention The Dark Rider’s  butler?  Holy BELVEDERE yes!  His butler served us food while he announced the dishes, “Ond zis is zea bazz viz a light lemon sauze.” Normally I don’t like people describing my food because it slows down the whole process of put plate down and make food disappear into my gullet. But it was nice to have my meal romanced like that.

It was decadent. We were sitting on the terrace overlooking Los Angeles sipping iced tea and laughing. But I felt conflicted. How is this ok? It felt wrong to dine on crab legs and fennel  while the ghosts of murdered people watched and silently judged me. I felt so guilty enjoying a meal on the very site where one of the most horrific murders of our time occured. But then it occured to me  -  why should I feel bad? The Dark Rider’s the asshole  who bought the place and employed a  butler to serve me. Let him feel bad.

I wanted to hate this man and interrogate him – “What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you live here? Were you raised by feral dogs?”  I didn’t ask that way, but in some form or other, he explained himself.  Dark Rider isn’t an asshole and he isn’t  a douscher like Trent Reznor who thinks Manson is cool. What he is  is a bargain shopper.  Turns out  murder land is discounted land. See, the value of  land goes down when say, a pregnant woman and her friends are brutally murdered there. Who knew, right? If you ever want a serious real estate bargain, buy land where a gruesome murder took place, they practically give it away! The only hitch is having everyone think of you as the asshole who bought the Manson House and tolerating bus loads of morbid tourists who swarm your front gate. If you can stomach that, you’ve got yourself a sweet deal.

After the meal and uncomfortable conversation, it was time to leave.  I just so happened to have the Beatles “Helter Skelter” in my car and yes, I listened to it on the drive down the hill. It was too ironic to pass up and it diffused some of the weirdness of the experience for me. But still, I felt ookie about it all.

After the lunch, I became obsessed with Sharon Tate and Polanski and the murders. It reminded me of being in 8th grade, carrying around the opus “Helter Skelter”, thinking I was being a badass and earning some street cred. Nothing pisses the English teacher off more during “free reading” time than to see a punk ass kid pull out this gem.

And now in retrospect, I think maybe that’s the allure of living in the Tate Murder House. It’s street cred. It means pulling out the “guess where I live” card at a dinner party of Hollywood types and having them think it’s pretty rad. Well, maybe not rad, but interesting and morbid. And maybe it helps this guy get laid by women who have deep daddy issues. I have to admit, I wouldn’t say I was excited to see the house, but it was worth it to be able to say “I’ve been there and done that”.  For the record, I think those murders were NOT cool in any way, but the dark  sider in me appreciates the opportunity to see and experience something truly awful. Isn’t that after all, what keeps me in the world of stand up comedy?

‘18 Kids & Counting’ Parents Debut 19th Child

Exactly seven weeks after her early arrival, Josie Duggar is making her media debut.

Josie, who was born three-and-a-half months premature, is the 19th child of the “18 Kids & Counting” TV parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar.

In an exclusive interview and photoshoot with People magazine,

he Duggars report that Josie is doing well, but call her survival “a miracle.” Delivered by cesarean section only 25 weeks after mom Michelle was diagnosed with preeclampsia, Josie weighed at an itty-bitty 1 lb., 6 oz. when she was born.

“Years ago, a baby this small wouldn’t have lived an hour,” Jim Bob told the magazine. “We are so grateful for the ability to help

her.”

Though she’s still in an incubator at the NICU unit at Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock, the littlest Duggar now weighs in at 2 lb., 4 oz. Luckily for the little one, TLC television stars Michelle, Jim Bob, their 17 of their 18 other children, have moved to Little Rock from their hometown of Tontitown, Arkansas to be as close to Josie possible.

In the meantime, the not-yet-2-month-old had better get used to the limelight: In addition to TLC updates, the Duggars spent Thursday morning speaking to the “Today” show’s Meredith Viera. When asked if baby Josie was “out of the woods,” Jim Bob told Meredith that both the doctors and the family were taking it “day by day.”

“We know at any moment, things could change,” he added.