Everything I Know About Womanhood I Learned From MTV in 1984.

TOOT TOOT… all aboard the poop train that is the music industry.

For the last like 20 years, it has been a non-stop shit parade of pedophilic wet dreams – from Britney Spears to the intolerable tweeny bopper Miley Cyrus to corporate rocker chicks like Katy Perry that really have nothing to say. She kissed a girl, so did Jill Sobule 10 years ago,when her song “I Kissed a Girl” was a huge hit.

Video definately killed the radio star, then shot its hot load on the backs of all of us with the crap it considers music.  Once musicians couldn’t be ugly (particularly women), they didn’t have to be talented, either.  Janis Joplin, who sang with heart was replaced by Barbie Britney and her tarted up pre-packaged adolescent version of sexuality. At least when  Madonna did the sexed-up singer genre, she owned her sexuality and made it an affirmation of her personal power. She not only covered sex, but teen pregnancy and religion and she kissed a black guy in the “Like a Prayer” video. YES, she kissed an actual black guy… in front of burning crosses! Pepsi pulled a sponsorship deal over it and well, yeah I can see that.  I’m sure they didn’t want little kids guzzling cans of their product while asking “Mommy, why is the lady kissing a statue come-to-life of black Jesus in front of burning crosses?”  Thankfully, I’m a coke drinker and I asked my mommy the same question, to which she replied, “Eh, she’s fuckin’ crazy.”

Everything I learned about being a woman I learned from MTV the summer of 1984. Madonna was a bad bitch, Pat Benatar was a dancing prostitute fighting her pimp and Cindy Lauper told Captain Lou Albano that girls just wanna have fun. Pretty fantastic role models for a young girl. At least they had opinions, stood for something and most importantly – had personalities.

Seriously, look how awesome Cyndi Lauper was – and is.  She had half of her head shaved and tacky makeup. But more than just looking crazy – she WAS crazy and rebellious.  She’s So Unusual came out and it changed my little world. I can’t count the times I rocked out to “She Bop” in front of my mirror…then embarrasingly lip synched it in a summer camp talent show. I was beat out by this girl who did a Gloria Estefan jam. (I guess the rhythm DOES get you.)  But Cyndi was a badass, she rocked it out and didn’t have to tart herself up to do it. In addition to having amazing talent, she showed me that weird is where the party’s at. At the age of 8, I knew I wanted to be unusual like Cyndi – a little obnoxious, quirky and funny. She was an older, singing version of Pippi Longstocking – free, open and totally unself-conscious. Seriously, watch this….Still awesome. Don’t get me started on Pippi – that’s a whole other topic.

It seems the 80′s were oddly more pro-woman than the 2000′s. Sure, Britney and Beyonce sing about sex and love, but its still within the acceptable regime of what a hot chick should look and act like. It’s the same old bubble gum feminism like the Spice Girls. Girl power! Power to wear makeup and do our hair funky! Woo hoo.

Cut to this week, when I have been obssessed with – I mean pathetically obsessed with two female singers – M.I.A. and Santigold (formerly Santogold).  Holy fuckshits, I’m so excited to finally find two women my age, of color, who aren’t totally sexed-up vacant fuck toys singing about stuff nobody cares about.  These are two bad bitches with buckets and buckets of talent that blow my mind. Both have a unique style and write about topics of subtance.

M.I.A. is deeply political and discusses third world issues and Santigold writes about being an artist and the struggles of individualism in a culture that priveleges pre-fab rock stars.

The music is unreal and I encourage you to check out all of what these women have created.  It really renewed my faith in humanity and in the music industry somewhat. I’m sure there are more chicks like these out there making cool music, but I’m not that cool anymore to go looking for it. All I know is what I’m fed and these two came to me thru friends.

I’m so thankful to have found these girls, as it has made me feel the same excitement I did with Cyndi Lauper. That in a world of polished pop singers, there’s girls that are a little rough and probably a little smelly. And I LIKE IT!!