With Ben Glieb and cake to celebrate 500 episodes of Chelsea Lately.
Squashed in between Arden Myrin and Guy Braunum.
and with my favorite Sarah Colonna and Glieb
These pictures are blurry, but the party was sponsored by Belvedere…
So, here it is. My official first official walk on the Red Carpet. It was at Chelsea Handler’s Book Premiere party for “Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang”. Awesome party, classy people. And here is how Spazitzky handles it.
And here it starts…I look composed. Hangin’ cool.
oh, feeling the itch to ham it up. I need the world’s approval.
And yes, there it is. Face is stupid. Cleavage is stupider. MMMmm yes, they use the best pics, thank you, paparazzi.
I received some tips from people on how to walk the red carpet. Things like “hands on hips, side turn and smile.” I bet those people had mommy and daddy’s approval growing up.
More to come, but I had to post this Barbie in a Burkah that my cousin Juli made. It’s so awesome.
Thanks to Roseanne, my dream of someday performing in Kabul, Afghanistan came true.
Today I have formally decided that “Rock the Casbah” is the most perfect song. It’s been my favorite song since since the age of 4 and today in the car I listened to it no less than 8 times. It is however, an exceedingly difficult song to karaoke, which I have attempted numerous times. Every time I sing it in public, not only do I look Whitney-Bobby crazy, but sound like a homeless yodeler. It’s not an attractive song for a lady to sing, nor is it a crowd pleaser in rural areas. But I let that raga drop every time AND with extreme prejudice, son.
Over the years, my friends and I have compiled a list of words that aren’t real words and phrases that aren’t real phrases. This list was made possible by countless checkout clerks, students, performers and misinformed friends. Enjoy this list compiled by Tom Segura, Ryan Sickler, Shauna Finn and myself.
1. Irregardless – as in “Irregardless of what the commercial claims, “Guys Gone Wild” is probably purchased mostly by gay men.”
2. “I says” – as in “So I says to her, I says Tina, I ain’t feeding that dang cat no more.”
3. Libary – as in “Why you goin to the libary?”
4. Ecscape – as in “She ecscaped her destiny as a stripper by becoming a porn star.”
4. Volumptuous – as in “J-Lo got a volumptous ass.”
5. Supposably – as in “Well, I mean supposably he’s coming to the bar after work.”
6. Phertographer – as in “I got a great phertogropher for you.”
7. Chicargo – self explanatory.
8. Drownding – I was really disappointed to hear this in a Modest Mouse song. The lyric was “Everyone’s an ocean drownding.”
9. Idear – as in “I had the idear to go back to school, but thought, “eh, screw it.”
10. “It’s a blessing in the skies.” – This one is my favorite by far and came from my husband Tom’s ex-coworker who pointed to the sky as he made his proclamation.
