I just saw this and my insides are rumbling into full-blown diahrrea. I guess after Hurricane Katrina, two of my least favorite bands came together and covered the punk classic by the Skids “The Saints are Coming.” What this is is the birth of a brand new kind of turd. It’s the perfect union of douchbaggery with total suck. Thus inventing a whole new genre, “Douchesuckery”.
It was done for charity, so cool. But couldn’t they cover a less awesome song? Something akin to their level of soulless succubus? I’m sure they could’ve collaborated with Kanye West and their egos could meld into one gigantic superturd of a hit.
YOU ARE SITTING NEXT TO A BEATLE, FOR CHRIST SAKE. DRESS NORMAL!
Here’s why I’m upset. If you love punk music like I do, number one you know Green Day is NOT punk. Never have been, never will be. In fact when I was teenager back in the 90′s, if you liked Green Day, we were sworn mortal enemies. I’ve hated them consistently for about 15 years now and I don’t like hating anything because it’s bad for your soul but I can’t stop the hatred!
U2 – I know I’m supposed to like them. Ever since I was a kid, it seems everyone around me worshipped at the altar of Bono and the “Edge” and whoever is in this band. I get it, I see why people like them. They do have talent, but I just don’t like them. Bono is too dramatic and self-involved and they think their music will stop every wrong doing on planet earth. Especially now, they are aging rock stars who have major messiah complexes. Oh and did I mention someone in the band is called “The Edge”? I’d rather listen to Hall and Oates for the rest of my life than listen to one complete album from U2.
I HOPE THOSE BILLYGOATS BITE THEIR VOICE BOXES OUT.
So, back to the Skids cover. “The Saints are Coming” is a punk classic. The first time I heard this song, it was on a punk compilation cassette tape with X-Ray Spex, the Buzzcocks and a whole bunch of other people I would come to worship like the loser I am. It made me want to move to England, find a boyfriend like Sid Vicious and cultivate a heroine addiction.
The lyrics are poetry:
The saints are coming, the saints are coming
No matter how I try, I realise there’s no reply
The saints are coming, the saints are coming
A drowning sorrow floods the deepest grief
How long now
Until a weather change condemns belief
The stone says
This paternal guide once had his day
Once had his day
Holy shit, find a song written like that today. Here’s the original song. These guys are so cool. Man, I’ll never be this cool.
And then here’s the U2/Green Day douche-makeover remix. They are such asswipes. The original overproduced video with utterly ridiculous footage of Katrina damage and strobe lights is disabled, so I can’t put it here. But I highly recommend viewing it for its total shit factor.
Here’s just the song. I wanna puke on myself. The power and coolness of it is totally sucked out. I hope Bono gets a little bit of cancer. Just a smidgen.
Oh and here’s X-Ray Spex. Just to clean your palate like a sorbet.